come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
