so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
