I got her a Nickelback box set.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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