yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
