If that was your dad, he is hot
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize
