you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
