I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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