you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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