I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
