Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
