You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
