New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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