It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
