So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
