And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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