You made me cry and you don't even care
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
