We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
