Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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