that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
