i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Randomize
