redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
