she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
