i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
