She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Found the puke drawer
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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