just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
