BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
