My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
