I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
