i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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