Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
