You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
