i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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