I can tuck mytits in my pants
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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