Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
