watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
