Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
