it was like his penis was on wheels.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
