In the future we'll all be gay
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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