she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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