I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Redeem this text for a blowjob
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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