Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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