just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Are we still banned from the library?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Life without a bra equals bliss.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
