??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i will never coherently bang her
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
