Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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