Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
