im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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