If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You're like the curious george of whores
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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