I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
