Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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