This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
