hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He passed out mid-signature
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
