note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I am spending my child support on dildos
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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