They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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