she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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