It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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